World Facts And Figures
World Facts and Figures
Independent States in the World
(According to the U.S. State Department July 2001)
Dependencies and Areas of Special Sovereignty See Also
Total count of Independent States: 191
* Diplomatic relations with the United States
+ Member of United Nations
! New change, since previous list
STATE
Short-form name
Long-form name
FIPS Code
(see note 2)
Capital
Afghanistan *+
Islamic State of Afghanistan
AF
Kabul
Albania *+
Republic of Albania
AL
Tirana
Algeria *+
!People's Democratic Republic of Algeria
AG
Algiers
Andorra *+
Principality of Andorra
AN
Andorra la Vella
Angola *+
Republic of Angola
AO
Luanda
Antigua and
Barbuda *+
(no long-form name)
AC
Saint John's
Argentina *+
Argentine Republic
AR
Buenos Aires
Armenia *+
Republic of Armenia
AM
Yerevan
Australia *+
Commonwealth of Australia
AS
Canberra
Austria *+
Republic of Austria
AU
Vienna
Azerbaijan *+
Republic of Azerbaijan
AJ
Baku
Bahamas, The *+
Commonwealth
of The Bahamas
BF
Nassau
Bahrain *+
State of Bahrain
BA
Manama
Bangladesh *+
People's Republic
of Bangladesh
BG
Dhaka
Barbados *+
(no long-form name)
BB
Bridgetown
Belarus *+
Republic of Belarus
BO
Minsk
Belgium *+
Kingdom of Belgium
BE
Brussels
Belize *+
(no long-form name)
BH
Belmopan
Benin *+
Republic of Benin
BN
Porto-Novo
Bhutan +
Kingdom of Bhutan
BT
Thimphu
Bolivia *+
Republic of Bolivia
BL
La Paz (administrative)
Sucre (legislative/judiciary)
Bosnia and
Herzegovina *+
(no long-form name)
BK
Sarajevo
Botswana *+
Republic of Botswana
BC
Gaborone
Brazil *+
Federative Republic of Brazil
BR
Brasília
Brunei *+
Negara Brunei Darussalam
BX
Bandar Seri Begawan
Bulgaria *+
Republic of Bulgaria
BU
Sofia
Burkina Faso *+
Burkina Faso
UV
Ouagadougou
Burma *+
Union of Burma
BM
Rangoon
Burundi *+
Republic of Burundi
BY
Bujumbura
Cambodia *+
Kingdom of Cambodia
CB
Phnom Penh
Cameroon *+
Republic of Cameroon
CM
Yaoundé
Canada *+
(no long-form name)
CA
Ottawa
Cape Verde *+
Republic of Cape Verde
CV
Praia
Central
African Republic *+
Central African Republic
CT
Bangui
Chad *+
Republic of Chad
CD
N'Djamena
Chile *+
Republic of Chile
CI
Santiago
China *+ (see note 3)
People's Republic of China
CH
Beijing
Colombia *+
Republic of Colombia
CO
Bogotá
Comoros *+
Federal Islamic Republic
of the Comoros
CN
Moroni
Congo (Brazzaville) *+
(see note 4)
Republic of the Congo
CF
Brazzaville
Congo (Kinshasa) *+
(see note 4)
Democratic Republic
of the Congo
CG
Kinshasa
Costa Rica *+
Republic of Costa Rica
CS
San José
Côte d'Ivoire *+
Republic of Côte d'Ivoire
IV
Yamoussoukro
Croatia *+
Republic of Croatia
HR
Zagreb
Cuba +
Republic of Cuba
CU
Havana
Cyprus *+
Republic of Cyprus
CY
Nicosia
Czech Republic *+
Czech Republic
EZ
Prague
Denmark *+
Kingdom of Denmark
DA
Copenhagen
Djibouti *+
Republic of Djibouti
DJ
Djibouti
Dominica *+
Commonwealth of Dominica
DO
Roseau
Dominican Republic *+
Dominican Republic
DR
Santo Domingo
Ecuador *+
Republic of Ecuador
EC
Quito
Egypt *+
Arab Republic of Egypt
EG
Cairo
El Salvador *+
Republic of El Salvador
ES
San Salvador
Equatorial Guinea *+
Republic of Equatorial Guinea
EK
Malabo
Eritrea *+
State of Eritrea
ER
Asmara
Estonia *+
Republic of Estonia
EN
Tallinn
Ethiopia *+
Federal Democratic
Republic of Ethiopia
ET
Addis Ababa
Fiji *+
Republic of the
Fiji Islands
FJ
Suva
Finland *+
Republic of Finland
FI
Helsinki
France *+
French Republic
FR
Paris
Gabon *+
Gabonese Republic
GB
Libreville
Gambia, The *+
Republic of The Gambia
GA
Banjul
Georgia *+
!Republic of Georgia
GG
T'bilisi
Germany *+
Federal Republic of Germany
GM
Berlin
Ghana *+
Republic of Ghana
GH
Accra
Greece *+
Hellenic Republic
GR
Athens
Grenada *+
(no long-form name)
GJ
Saint George's
Guatemala *+
Republic of Guatemala
GT
Guatemala
Guinea *+
Republic of Guinea
GV
Conakry
Guinea-Bissau *+
Republic of Guinea-Bissau
PU
Bissau
Guyana *+
Co-operative
Republic of Guyana
GY
Georgetown
Haiti *+
Republic of Haiti
HA
Port-au-Prince
Holy See *
Holy See
VT
Vatican City
Honduras *+
Republic of Honduras
HO
Tegucigalpa
Hungary *+
Republic of Hungary
HU
Budapest
Iceland *+
Republic of Iceland
IC
Reykjavík
India *+
Republic of India
IN
New Delhi
Indonesia *+
Republic of Indonesia
ID
Jakarta
Iran +
Islamic Republic of Iran
IR
Tehran
Iraq +
Republic of Iraq
IZ
Baghdad
Ireland *+
(no long-form name)
EI
Dublin
Israel *+
State of Israel
IS
(see note 5)
Italy *+
Italian Republic
IT
Rome
Jamaica *+
(no long-form name)
JM
Kingston
Japan *+
(no long-form name)
JA
Tokyo
Jordan *+
Hashemite
Kingdom of Jordan
JO
Amman
Kazakhstan *+
Republic of Kazakhstan
KZ
Astana
Kenya *+
Republic of Kenya
KE
Nairobi
Kiribati *+
Republic of Kiribati
KR
Tarawa
Korea, North +
Democratic People's Republic of Korea
KN
P'yongyang
Korea, South *+
Republic of Korea
KS
Seoul
Kuwait *+
State of Kuwait
KU
Kuwait
Kyrgyzstan *+
Kyrgyz Republic
KG
Bishkek
Laos *+
Lao People's
Democratic Republic
LA
Vientiane
Latvia *+
Republic of Latvia
LG
Riga
Lebanon *+
Lebanese Republic
LE
Beirut
Lesotho *+
Kingdom of Lesotho
LT
Maseru
Liberia *+
Republic of Liberia
LI
Monrovia
Libya *+
Great Socialist People's
Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
LY
Tripoli
Liechtenstein *+
Principality of Liechtenstein
LS
Vaduz
Lithuania *+
Republic of Lithuania
LH
Vilnius
Luxembourg *+
Grand Duchy of Luxembourg
LU
Luxembourg
Macedonia, The Former Yugoslav Republic of *+
The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia
MK
Skopje
Madagascar *+
Republic of Madagascar
MA
Antananarivo
Malawi *+
Republic of Malawi
MI
Lilongwe
Malaysia *+
(no long-form name)
MY
Kuala Lumpur
Maldives *+
Republic of Maldives
MV
Male
Mali *+
Republic of Mali
ML
Bamako
Malta *+
!Republic of Malta
MT
Valletta
Marshall Islands *+
Republic of the
Marshall Islands
RM
Majuro
Mauritania *+
Islamic Republic
of Mauritania
MR
Nouakchott
Mauritius *+
Republic of Mauritius
MP
Port Louis
Mexico *+
United Mexican States
MX
Mexico
Micronesia,
Federated States of *+
Federated States
of Micronesia
FM
Palikir
Moldova *+
Republic of Moldova
MD
Chisinau
Monaco *+
Principality of Monaco
MN
Monaco
Mongolia *+
(no long-form name)
MG
Ulaanbaatar
Morocco *+
Kingdom of Morocco
MO
Rabat
Mozambique *+
Republic of Mozambique
MZ
Maputo
Namibia *+
Republic of Namibia
WA
Windhoek
Nauru *+
Republic of Nauru
NR
Yaren District
(no capital city)
Nepal *+
Kingdom of Nepal
NP
Kathmandu
Netherlands *+
Kingdom of the Netherlands
NL
Amsterdam
The Hague (seat of gov't)
New Zealand *+
(no long-form name)
NZ
Wellington
Nicaragua *+
Republic of Nicaragua
NU
Managua
Niger *+
Republic of Niger
NG
Niamey
Nigeria *+
Federal Republic of Nigeria
NI
Abuja
Norway *+
Kingdom of Norway
NO
Oslo
Oman *+
Sultanate of Oman
MU
Muscat
Pakistan *+
Islamic Republic of Pakistan
PK
Islamabad
Palau *+
Republic of Palau
PS
Koror
Panama *+
Republic of Panama
PM
Panama
Papua New Guinea *+
Independent State
of Papua New Guinea
PP
Port Moresby
Paraguay *+
Republic of Paraguay
PA
Asunción
Peru *+
Republic of Peru
PE
Lima
Philippines *+
Republic of the Philippines
RP
Manila
Poland *+
Republic of Poland
PL
Warsaw
Portugal *+
Portuguese Republic
PO
Lisbon
Qatar *+
State of Qatar
QA
Doha
Romania *+
(no long-form name)
RO
Bucharest
Russia *+
Russian Federation
RS
Moscow
Rwanda *+
Rwandese Republic
RW
Kigali
Saint Kitts and Nevis *+
Federation of Saint
Kitts and Nevis
SC
Basseterre
Saint Lucia *+
(no long-form name)
ST
Castries
Saint Vincent and
the Grenadines *+
(no long-form name)
VC
Kingstown
Samoa *+
Independent State of Samoa
WS
Apia
San Marino *+
Republic of San Marino
SM
San Marino
Sao Tome and Principe *+
Democratic Republic of
Sao Tome and Principe
TP
São Tomé
Saudi Arabia *+
Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
SA
Riyadh
Senegal *+
Republic of Senegal
SG
Dakar
Seychelles *+
Republic of Seychelles
SE
Victoria
Sierra Leone *+
Republic of Sierra Leone
SL
Freetown
Singapore *+
Republic of Singapore
SN
Singapore
Slovakia *+
Slovak Republic
LO
Bratislava
Slovenia *+
Republic of Slovenia
SI
Ljubljana
Solomon Islands *+
(no long-form name)
BP
Honiara
Somalia *+
(no long-form name)
SO
Mogadishu
South Africa *+
Republic of South Africa
SF
Pretoria (administrative)
Cape Town (legislative)
Bloemfontein (judiciary)
Spain *+
Kingdom of Spain
SP
Madrid
Sri Lanka *+
Democratic Socialist
Republic of Sri Lanka
CE
Colombo
Sri Jayewardenepura Kotte (legislative)
Sudan *+
Republic of the Sudan
SU
Khartoum
Suriname *+
Republic of Suriname
NS
Paramaribo
Swaziland *+
Kingdom of Swaziland
WZ
Mbabane (administrative)
Lobamba (legislative)
Sweden *+
Kingdom of Sweden
SW
Stockholm
Switzerland *
Swiss Confederation
SZ
Bern
Syria *+
Syrian Arab Republic
SY
Damascus
Tajikistan *+
Republic of Tajikistan
TI
Dushanbe
Tanzania *+
United Republic of Tanzania
TZ
Dar es Salaam
Dodoma (legislative)
Thailand *+
Kingdom of Thailand
TH
Bangkok
Togo *+
Togolese Republic
TO
Lomé
Tonga *+
Kingdom of Tonga
TN
Nuku'alofa
Trinidad and Tobago *+
Republic of
Trinidad and Tobago
TD
Port-of-Spain
Tunisia *+
Republic of Tunisia
TS
Tunis
Turkey *+
Republic of Turkey
TU
Ankara
Turkmenistan *+
(no long-form name)
TX
Ashgabat
Tuvalu *
(no long-form name)
TV
Funafuti
Uganda *+
Republic of Uganda
UG
Kampala
Ukraine *+
(no long-form name)
UP
Kiev
United Arab Emirates *+
United Arab Emirates
TC
Abu Dhabi
United Kingdom *+
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
UK
London
United States +
United States of America
US
Washington, DC
Uruguay *+
Oriental Republic of Uruguay
UY
Montevideo
Uzbekistan *+
Republic of Uzbekistan
UZ
Tashkent
Vanuatu *+
Republic of Vanuatu
NH
Port-Vila
Venezuela *+
Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela
VE
Caracas
Vietnam *+
Socialist Republic of Vietnam
VM
Hanoi
Yemen *+
Republic of Yemen
YM
Sanaa
Yugoslavia *+
Federal Republic of Yugoslavia
YI
Belgrade
Zambia *+
Republic of Zambia
ZA
Lusaka
Zimbabwe *+
Republic of Zimbabwe
ZI
Harare
OTHER
Short-form name
Long-form name
FIPS Code (see note 2)
Capital
Taiwan (see note 6)
(no long-form name)
TW
T'ai-pei
NOTES
Note 1: In this listing, the term "independent state" refers to a people politically organized
into a sovereign state with a definite territory recognized as independent by the US.
Note 2: Federal Information Processing Standard (FIPS) 10-4 codes.
Note 3: With the establishment of diplomatic relations with China on January 1, 1979, the
US Government recognized the People's Republic of China as the sole legal government
of China and acknowledged the Chinese position that there is only one China and that
Taiwan is part of China.
Note 4: "Congo" is the official short-form name for both the Republic of the Congo and the
Democratic Republic of the Congo. To distinguish one from the other, the U.S. Department
of State adds the capital in parentheses. This practice is unofficial and provisional.
Note 5: In 1950 the Israel Parliament proclaimed Jerusalem as the capital. The US, like
most other countries that have embassies in Israel, maintains its Embassy in Tel Aviv.
Note 6: Claimed by both the Government of the People's Republic of China and the authorities
on Taiwan. Administered by the authorities on Taiwan. (see note 3)
Source: Office of The Geographer and Global Issues, Bureau of Intelligence and Research,
U.S. Department of State, Washington, D.C.
FACT SHEET
Bureau of Intelligence and Research
Washington, DC
July 24, 2001
Amazing Facts
- *Did you know you share your birthday with at
least 9 other million people in the world?
*
- *The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
*
- *When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia
still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet
facilities for blacks and whites.
*
- *The human heart creates enough pressure when
it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
*
- *Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
*
- *On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
*
- *The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
*
- *"I am."
is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
*
- *The longest word in the English language is 1909
letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.
*
- *It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
*
- *Feb 1865 is the only month in recorded history
not to have a full moon.
*
- *You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
*
- *Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
*
- *Every time you lick a stamp,
you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
*
- *Cat's urine glows under a black light.
*
- *Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
*
- *In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
*
- *Babies are born without knee caps.
They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
*
- *Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
*
- *The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
*
- *The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II,
moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
*
- *Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than
all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
*
- *One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because
cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp
farmers...they saw it as competition.
*
- *You know that you are more likely to be killed
by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
*
- *Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
*
- *There are 2 credit cards for every person in the US.
*
- *The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
*
- *If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would
have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
*
- *Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds,
dogs only have about ten.
*
- *Our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears never stop growing.
*
- *In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
*
- *If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be
39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and
have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.
*
- *The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia,
has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. *
“BOOKENDS ON LIFE”
“BOOKENDS ON LIFE”
In life, we have two bookends
A beginning and an end
The things amid do fill the gaps
Whereby, our lives do blend.
The volumes which are written
Reveals the light of men
The print upon the pages
Contain the breath within.
The chapters stack so neatly
Are bounded at the seams
And filled with aspirations
Our failures and our dreams.
The many happy chapters
Hold sorrow in-between
The valleys and the mountains
Are parts of life's great scheme.
The fiber of our being
Is glue that makes it stick.
The text that fills the pages
Are choices we did pick.
It takes a set of book ends
To make one's life complete
The content comes together
When both the ends do meet.
One day upon completion
Our lives will be made whole
When God reads our memoir
The mirror to our soul.
We cannot change the content
Once written, nevermore
It's stored amongst God's archives
Upon that golden shore.
A Friend
A friend is like a flower,
Every shape and every hue.
Each one is like no other.
Sparkling in the morning dew
Each must seek to find them.
They hide in the oddest places.
But once we come upon them,
We adore their friendly faces.
We each deserve a bouquet,
Of such beauty to the heart.
This great array of blossoms,
Gives us great joy from the start.
Once we can find the treasure,
Friends are gifts so rare and fine.
We should water them with kindness,
And cultivate with time.
IF YOU ARE FEELING HURT…
Funny poems
The Flie
I am a fly that does not die
no matter how hard u try
to kill this fly
i will not die
i land on your pie
and suck it dry
but i will not die
because next is that Frye
u try and try
to kill this fly
but it will not die
it flies into your eye
u scream for help "oh my oh my!"
your mama comes in asking for her pie,
u look at her and start to lie
then again here comes the fly
that went in Ur eye
and sucked your pie
oh so dry
u try and try and try
wen all of a sudden that fly
oh yes that fly
he comes flying by
u yell at that fly "stop landing on my Kai!!"
u take off your tie
and hit the fly
that fly is starting to die
u stomp on the fly
now the fly oh yes that fly
he must die
goodbye fly
The Unknown Road
Alone I walk down the cobble stone street
Where strange faces gaze at me as I pass
âſWhereâ?, I again wonder, âſdoes this road meetâ?
âſIs it the lofty hills or oceans bass?â?
Would it lead me to some far-away land,
Where echoes of love drift along the breeze
And yet linger, unlike footprints in sand
Plying my tired soul, allay and ease?
Or would it take me to some thriving wood
Where trees sway along lullabies of birds,
Luring beings to emerge from their hoods
And dance to the tune, by the zephyr spurred?
Reflecting where the unknown may extend
I hit against a board that says â˿Dead Endâ!
Being With You
You thought I loved you
I knew you were crazy
But i didn't know you would make my life so hazy
I bragged to everyone all the cute things you said
But I tried to erase all the bad things that were still in my head
My heart was in pain
I cried so often
But by the end of our relationship my heart had softened
It wasn't in a good way
Nor a bad
And for you I gave up a really great guy that I already had
My heart has bled
Tears were shed
Inside I just felt like I was already dead
When I was with you I tried to live my life
But all you did was stab me
It felt just like a knife
The things you said to others
The things that weren't true
I only have to words to say and they are: SCREW YOU
So sense I've been with you
I've learned more about guys
And this girl, she never cries
How could I say that
I cry all the time
But is making a mistake such a big crime
I wish all this was a tape
And all I had to do was push replay
So I could go back to the day you asked me out
And I would know what to say.
Defeated?
There are lots of people in
this world
Who seem to have no feelings,
Loving, kindness, caring and thought
They do not know the meaning
The Joy they get is out of spite,
of seeing others hurt
The things they say, the things they do
They give it no real thought
So when you think you've been defeated
They've taken everything you had
Just think again, its what they want
To know they've got you and made you sad.
Our World
The world today
so cruel.
all these horrible things
everyone always getting hurt.
someone always dies
the wrong way.
thought everyone was
supposed to die old.
but we can change
we don't have to be this way.
maybe we screwed it for us,
but don't put our kids throught this.
To Realize The Value Of
To realize the value of :
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student whom
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to
A premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident...
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.
Reach Out
If I could reach out to the
world
If I could be more than just a girl
I would have a million things to say
Yet, who would listen anyway
I would talk of my highs and my lows
Of all my friends and my foes
I would talk of life and all its days
How each one has different rays
And donât forget that there is tomorrow
No time today to sulk in sorrow
Always keep your head up to the sky
Donât worry about asking the question âſwhyâ?
Life is a gift, a treasure, amazing
You never know what it will bring
Always say âſyesâ? when asked to dance
Thatâs what I would say given the chance.
If I could reach out to the world
If I could be more than just a girl
I would have a million things to say
Yet, who would listen anyway.
Do Not Let It Take Your Wings
Do not let this cruel world
Do to you what it's done to me.
I bid of you, do not let it
Take your wings
Love life with a passion
Love it deep and true
If you do this, what happened to me
Won't happen to you
I love no one
No one loves me
If all you do is hate
You'll live life miserably
I have nothing
But an empty home
If I remain the same
I'll die alone
I want to change
My cold dark fate
I just hope
It's not to late
Do not let this cruel world
Do to you what it's done to me
I bid of you, do not let it
Take your wings.
Different Yet The Same
We are all the same
Just a different name
We live in the same world
Breathe the same air you see
Yet you treat us different
For the colour of our skin
If weâre fat or weâre thin
If weâre religious to begin
You treat us as slaves
So we must behave
Because weâre not like you
What you tell us, we must do
And if we choose to say â˿noâ
Our head must go
How cruel can you be?
Why canât you see?
That weâre human too!
And if weâre too short or tall
You donât like us at all
Youâre being ignorant, donât you know
Open your eyes and see
Weâre all the same, you and me
Howâd you like it if we treated you
Like you treated us too?
Bulling is bad
Racism is worse
And when we choose to ignore
You then use force
Weâre all the same, you and me
And at night,
When weâre tucked in tight
No one will know the difference
Between black and white
Being disable or not
If weâre short by a lot
If weâre fat or weâre thin
If weâre different to begin
If we celebrate this or that
If we sleep with a cat!
It wonât matter at all
When itâs nightfall
For weâre all the same
Just a different name
Size or look
Black or white
It wonât matter to us if we have no sight
Weâre treated like dirt
Of coarse weâre hurt
So donât bring shame
Into this terrible game
Black or white
It wonât matter tonight
Because weâre all the same
Just a different name.
The Photo
All through life you take pictures to remember the good times,
And you know in your heart you well not trade them for a millon dimes,
You hold then close to your heart,
For to take real photos is a great art,
To take pictures of your family and friends,
Is what parents like to do and it never ends,
People new to love will take picture of the ones they love,
And slide them into there wallets like a glove,
The best picture to take is one that is true to the scene,
For that kind you must be sneaky and not seen,
But always hold your pictures close to where you sleep,
For if a firebreaks out youâll be in to deep,
Cause if you donât get them free youâll pay the ultimate cost,
Cause no one can help you get back what you have lost.
Seeing God
When I was child a bitter man once said I was odd
Because I believed in a man unseen called God.
A man I could not see or touch
Yet someone I knew loved me very much.
The man a skeptic tried to plant doubt in my head.
A man can't rise back to life if he's dead.
No God would allow hurt if he was real
No person would have disease or kill.
Yet I said I see God he is always here.
I feel him each day sometimes far, sometimes near.
In my darkest hours he is there to help me carry on.
And if he can't be there right away, he'll never be long.
The man shook his head surely thought I was insane.
To believe in a man with such a simple name.
So how does this God let you know that he's there?
Any certain signs that you are willing to share?
I said God touches my hair in the warm gentle breeze
That swings threw the clouds, flowers and the trees.
One day he sat on my shoulder in the form of a butterfly.
Sometimes he smiles at me when the sun peaks in the sky.
Sometime's God speaks louder when he wants to be heard.
He'll rage the clouds in the sky till a strong storm has been lured.
When it's all over he always leaves a special gift.
A rainbow of colors to help the lowest spirits get a lift.
God does well in that he always listens to what you say.
There's never a moment when it's inappropriate to pray.
Sometimes God answers yes to the things I need.
Sometimes he answers no if my prayers request an evil deed.
The man shook his head saying I believed in imaginary beings.
Like a little girl who longs to be a princess among the kings and the
queens.
The man said I was crazy to have the faith to believe
In a man people made up years ago and a lie that still exists to deceive.
I never saw the man again after that fateful summer day.
But I always made time to listen to God and made time to pray.
Times came that were both good and bad.
But I still relied on God to get me threw with all I had.
A simple faith placed in someone I couldn't see.
But someone who I felt was always around me.
The day I died I finally got to see his face.
And I saw within him the most amazing grace.
My heart was filled with love like no other.
As I embraced the love all my sisters and brothers.
I asked of the bitter man and where he might be.
God answered Don't worry, it was my face he got to see.
His wife died of cancer, his son in a car.
The man's faith had wavered but I was never far.
One day he opened up to me and oh the tears he cried.
Telling me he wanted to believe and boy he had tried.
But fears had shaken him and life had left his heart so broken.
Regrets for things he did and for words he had never spoken.
Till the day he met a little girl that was you.
To remind him of something he already knew.
I was there in the storms and the calms of his life
I was there the day he lost his son and then his wife.
And when I couldn't be there I knew exactly what to do.
That was the day that I let him see me in you.
Move On Sister
My past shall
be buried
like a lost piece
of yesterdays news
for I shall move
on this day
live life for tomorrow
I shall not carry
these burdens
for the weight is
heavy for my back
I shall gather the
goodness of life
renew my passion inside
sprinkle softness in
my steps of
love and devotion.
Broken Pedestal
Childish eyes that did not see
Fabricating the man, not reality
Godlike creature standing tall
Too perfect in life to ever fall
Worshiped and revered
Strength infinite, it appeared
Your knowledge unbound
Kept me safe and sound
Death brought forth the truth
Just an ordinary man and uncouth
Shattered illusions and broken dreams
Youthful eyes spill forth in streams
Years of anger and hurt
Wasted energy, left inert
Forgive me daddy, for now I see
Youâre the man you were meant to be.
You Rose, Me Dandelion
The perfume of your blossom fills the air;
my aroma is pale in comparison.
You are pruned from a well cultivated bush,
grown with dignity and respect
while I have been lost for years in the field of weeds and wild flowers.
You were given a name for so many to love.
You are known as a cherished gift for others to only dream of.
I am cursed with a bad reputation.
Others wish to exterminate me from society.
They think I am a weed,
toxic to the precious garden.
Your roots are strong and deep;
my roots are choking with poison.
You will prosper on with an award winning prize and sunny bright skies.
I choke and die, leaving for me morbid sorrow.
Every Rose may have it's thorn
but I have only hope and one secret wish.
Can a Dandelion become a Rose?
This Beautiful World
This Beautiful World
The sun creeps into my window, quite as a mouse.
Finds my face and warmly wakes it from a joyous peace.
My eyes wander the earth outside, and the corners of my mouth point up.
They point to a glorious sky, rich with clouds of cotton candy dancing
the moon away.
I hear a growling sound, leave this eternal happiness I must.
The stairs whistle as I gracefully glide down each precious step.
My warm flesh lays itself upon a monster, which suffocates the world below.
It hides the beauty of the past, looking innocently back at me.
I wander down this perpetual hall, to see my own image, but many years
before, having fun in a frozen moment, that will last a thousand years.
As I keep walking to find myself at my destination, that I had forgotten
about while I wandered in this realistic dream.
I am no longer hearing the growling noise, for my hunger was stifled by
this beautiful world...
this beautiful, beautiful world that we live in today, that we take for
granted each day!
Oceans
Last night I dreamed of the Ocean,
She was the color of my soul,
And moonlight tip-toed across her waves
As she crashed and banged and rolled.
She held the starlight captive
Within her indigo hues,
Buried those jewels deep in her soul
To add magic to her blues.
She called to me in whispers,
Her cool breath caressed my skin.
And she managed to seduce me
With tales of where she'd been.
Last night I let her take me
In her large cool arms,
And drown me in her beauty
As she hypnotized me with her charms.
She held me tight and stroked me
With her fingers of velvet blue,
And I gave myself up to her
As I'd always known I'd do.
Last night I dreamed of the ocean
she was the color of my soul.
Trees
The wonders of Nature have always been seen.
Leaves on the trees so exceedingly green.
Autumn and Winter, dull they may be
But always we love them, these wonderful trees
In summer and springtime their colors are right
although there are showers, their leaves all shine bright.
Henceforth we shall love them,and have loved for all time
the Lord Thou hast made them,and I thank Thee for Thine.
The Tree
The Tree
The Tree stands steadfast
Giving breath to mankind
It's everlasting strength
weathers all time and nature
The wind and the rain are
its benefactors
Giving shade from the sun
Its leaves dance in the wind
Its branches sway in ere
direction
It bears witness to all tragedy
And lends a resting place for poets
and lovers
Giving shelter to the homeless
and to the friends of nature
furred and feathered
It splinters and burns when
struck down by God's bolts of
lightning
Its ashes enrich the earth
Its bark renders the written word
and makes strong bond for books
of knowledge
Its sap is drained to feed
the hungry
Its roots hold the earth together
Lest it slip away into the
universe
Therefore the tree is a
reflection of
the Lords Infinite wisdom and
the splendor
Of all his creative endeavors
The Tree.
Funny Tags
Roses R Red Violets R Blue
Monkeys Like you Shud Be kept In the Zoo
Dont feel Angry U Will Find Me There Too
Not In a cage But Laughing At you!
If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.
Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT!
I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because Dad says "Love Animals"!
May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue. I'd do anything at all my dear - Just to get away from you.
Remember me and bare in mind A faithful girl is hard to find This is always good and true So dont go changing old for new!
I'm not as dumb as you look.
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
I was a beautiful baby. But they switched my in the hospital.
I visited the tax office. I wanted to know the people I work for.
Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters.
One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?
When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."
I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving.
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
I'm at da police station, they caught me & filed a case agaist me. I'm screwed cos da evidence is very clear, they are charging me wid "POSESSION OF A CUTE SMILE!" HaHa!
UR 100%beautiful, UR 100%lovely, UR 100%sweet, UR 100%nice and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
Roses are red, violence are blue,
Someone like you belongs to the zoo!
Don't be mad, don't be blue,
Frankenstein was ugly to!
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom .. & without ugliness there can be no beauty .. so the world needs YOU after all!
Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you, are kept in Zoo
If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!...
Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be .. one heart that would always beat for you .. You know Whose??? .. your Own Stupid!!!
Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN.
Abracadabra.. Nope, ur still ugly!
How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??
Tell you later........
2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?' ToTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'
Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!”
My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright. u know why? Coz u r a "Tubelight"
When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So Plz start brushing regularly.
I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?.
I want u... to be with me... in a nice Restaurant.. to have a candle light dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill".
Friendship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake?
A:) MilkShake.
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker.
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...
Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!"
Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt do us part?
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You.
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well Because you r not messageing me... well.
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!
Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART. If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I'm SMART.
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!
Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in office and who have difficulties to work hold their mobile in their right hand .....
One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going???
In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU IDIOT!!
If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
I am a killer, I kill people for money..... But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here?
Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too!
Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all!.
Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? You don't, you've told her twice already!
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message.
Life is Short, Live it!
Love is Small, Flirt it!
Troubles are Momentary, Face it!
Memories are Sweet, Cherish it!
I'm too Good, Accept it!
What does true friendship mean 2 me?
U cry & Icry,
Ur sad n' I'm sad,
Ur laughing n' I'm laughing,
U jump out of the window.....
I LOOK DOWN!
The night is dark, the moon is high, i stop my car, u ask why? I come close 2 u, u feel shy, I tell u those 3 words.......
........Tyre is Punctured
From: Farah Asif
FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN EXAM THAT YOU KNOW YOU WILL FAIL IN!!!
Bring a pillow, fall asleep(or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes, wake up, say "Oh jeez, better get cracking." And do some gibberish work, turn it in a few minutes early
Get a copy of the exam, run out of the room screaming, "Andre, Andre I have the secret documents!!!"
If it is a Math/Science exam answer in essay form. If it is a long essay form answer with numbers and symbols, be creative.
Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with your self out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
Bring cheerleaders.
Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
Bring a Game Boy™. Play it with max volume level.
On the answer sheet find a new interesting way to refuse to answer every question on the grounds that it conflicts with your religious beliefs. Be creative.
Bring pets.
Run into the exam room looking around franticly. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say, "They've found me I have to flee the country." And run off.
15 min. into the exam stand up, rip up all the papers into small pieces, throw them into the air and yell, "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring ask for another copy saying you lost the first one. Do this every 15 min.
Do the exam with crayons, paint, or florescent markers.
Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel around your head, and nothing else.
Come down with a bad case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one make one up. For Math/Science try using Roman Numerals.
Bring things to throw at the instructor when they're not looking. Blame it on the person next to you.
As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are walking on your next video during the next exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay. Tell them to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
Every 5 min. stand up collect your things and move to another seat, continue with the exam.
Turn in the exam 30 min early. As you walk out the door comment how easy that was.
Do the entire exam as if it were multiple choice or t/f. if it is then spell out interesting words. (dccab.babe…).
Bring a black marker, turn in the exam with all the questions and answers blacked out.
Get the exam. 20 min. into it throw your papers down and violently scream "the heck with this" and walk out triumphantly.
Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ex. Threaten the instructor that whether or not after everyone is done they are walking out to go drink).
Show up completely drunk. (completely drunk means at some point in the exam to start crying for your mommy).
Every now and then clap twice rapidly, if the instructors asks why tell him or her in a very derogatory tone "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper, duh!"
Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
Go into the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min. put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
Go to an exam for a class that you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small and the instructor would recognize if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
Upon receiving the exam look it over while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expects me to waste my time on this drivel?"
Bring a water pistol to class, nuff said.
From the moment the exam begins hum the theme to jeopardy. Ignore the teachers request for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another begin to whistling the theme to the bridge on the river kwai.
Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
If the exam is math/science related make up the longest proofs you can think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam relate everything to your own life story.
Come in wearing full knights out fit complete with sword and shield.
Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed because you have a bad circulation.
Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious like history notes for a math exam otherwise your not just failing your getting kicked out too.) and staple them to the exam with the comment "please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
When you walk in complain about the heat. Strip.
After you get the exam call the teacher over, point to any problem and ask for the answer. Try to work it out of them.
One word: wrestlemania
Bring balloons, blow them up start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
Try to get the people in the room to do the wave.
Play Frisbee with friends at the other side of the room.
Bring some large cumbersome ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, pizzas, etc.. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
During the exam take apart everything around you, desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop say "helps me think.." bring a copy of the student handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "I told you so."
Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
Answer the exam with "the top ten reasons why professors xxx sucks."
30 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE!!!
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3. Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13. Don't use any punctuation
14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15. Ask people what sex they are.
16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17. Sing Along at the opera.
18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies
24. Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"
25. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do"
29. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
30. Everytime you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
13 SIGNS YOU ATE TOO MUCH OVER THE HOLIDAYS!!!
13. You "roll" out of bed in the morning...and keep rolling!
12. Even your jeans have stretch marks
11. Your mother-in-law comments about your lace drapes and what a lovely nightgown they'd make you
10. Your husband has suddenly added new locks in the house...to the fridge, the pantry, the freezer, the pet food bin...
9. You've been receiving "Thanks for subscribing" emails from weight loss sites when you haven't subscribed.
8 Your best friend gives you the evil eye whenever you mention the "F" word . . . FOOD!
7. Your husband has added an extra beam under the suddenly-sagging kitchen floor
6. The elephants in the local zoo are whistling in your direction
5. People you meet are congratulating you while glancing at your tummy
4. You need a new scale - the old one says "tilt" each time you step on it
3. You press "UP" in an elevator...and it doesn't
2. You were mistaken for the main act at the Sumo Wrestling match
And the #1 sign you ate too much over the holidays:
1. During your winter vacation, groups of people at the beach stand behind you for shade
From: Farah Asif
Jokes Of The Century
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an donkey.)
Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back, "Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an donkey).
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to
encourage ride-sharing schemes.
Perwez Musharraf and his wife are travelling in USA when they meet Santa Singh who is also travelling with his wife on a holiday. They start talking and realise that both are going to take the same train the next day. At the station Perwez buys tickets for himself and his wife. However he notices that Santa Singh buys a single ticket. "How are two people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks Pervez.
"Just watch and you`ll see!" answers Santa.
They all board the train and the Musharrafs take their seats and watch as Santa and his wife cram into a nearby restroom and close the door. The train departs and shortly afterwards the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Musharrafs see all this and agree that it is a clever idea to save some money. So on their return trip, they decide to copy the Singhs. They purchase a single ticket for the return trip, but to their astonishment, the Singhs do not buy even one ticket.
"How are you going to travel without even a single ticket?" says Musharraf.
"Just watch and you`ll see!" answers Santa.
They again board the train. This time the Musharrafs cram into a restroom and the Singhs cram into an another restroom nearby. Shortly after the train moves, Santa leaves his restroom, walks over to the restroom where the Musharrafs are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please!"
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the `shut down ` button.
3. There is a button `start` but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is `Run` in the menu. One of my friend clicked `run ` has ran up to Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any `re-scooter` available in system? As I find only `re-cycle`, but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is `Find` button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ` find`, but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my `mouse` from CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning `HEARTS` (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect your money.
9. My child learnt `Microsoft word` now he wants to learn `Microsoft sentence`, so when u will provide that?
10. Hey what is this, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad, but there is only one icon with `MY Computer`, what happened to the remaining?
11. There is not even single photo of mine in the `MY Pictures`.. when u will keep my photo in that.
12. There is `MICROSOFT OFFICE` what about `MICROSOFT HOME`
Thanking you,
Yours
Banta Singh
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q. How do desis in states have fun ?
A. Read technical books
Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that `s the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can `t open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn `t budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Santa: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Santa: It said "Pull"
Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and atlast I wrote THUNK !!!"
Sardar comes back 2 his car amp; find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 complement"
*****************************************************
How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
*****************************************************
Once a Sardar was walking he had a gloves on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
*****************************************************
A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says
"Hello, how did you know I was here?"
*****************************************************
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalanda r to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn`t reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" (What Happened, My Son?) The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward,but only one for going back!)
*****************************************************
Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the d ealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.
`But I think I know where I`m going wrong,` said Santa, `I think I`m planting them too deep.`
*****************************************************
Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
*****************************************************
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
*****************************************************
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!
*****************************************************
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant:It"s already raining. Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.
*****************************************************
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs.20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.
*****************************************************
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
*****************************************************
Sardar`s wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
*****************************************************
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror.
*****************************************************
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I`m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can`t read very fast.
*****************************************************
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
*****************************************************
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".
1. Santa : What is the meaning of SMS ?
Banta : It Means...
S - Sardaro ka
M - Mazaak udane ki
S - Service
2. Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
3. A sardar saw a beautiful girl. he went and kissed her.
GIRL: "stupid,what are you doin...?"
Sardar: " B.Com Final Year....
4. Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him.
Santa: Sir, I am learning the car.
Inspector: without instructor?
Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.
5. Once a school teacher told kids to write an essay on cricket match. Everybody was busy writing except
Santa, he wrote "Match cancelled due to rain".
6. Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
7. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa does not turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily
from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.
8. Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha to
Banta ne poocha kya bana rahe ho?
Santa- BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon..
9. A man told santa: Banta is kissing your wife.
Santa hurriedly rushed to home, within half hour came
back angrily and slapped the man and said: He is not Banta.
10. Santa is repeatedly buying movie tickets.
On being asked, santa replied: A man standing at the entry, tears my ticket everytime.
A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become
detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first Singh answers, "That`s
easy, we`ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman
says, "Well...uh...that`s because the picture I showed is his side
profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for
5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how
would
you recognize him?"
The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He`d be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What`s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are
showing because it`s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer
you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh
and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh
looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears
contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he
really
doesn`t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that`s an
interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and
I`ll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office,
checks the suspect`s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming
smile on his face.
"Wow! I can`t believe it. It`s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact
lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That`s easy," the Singh replied. "He can`t wear regular glasses because he
only has one eye and one ear."
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He`s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, `What`s in the bags?` `Sand,` answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, `We`ll just see about that. Get off the bike.`
Iqbal`s guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji`s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, `What have you got?` `Sand,` says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn`t show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a `Dhaba` in Islamabad.
`Hey, Buddy,` says Iqbal, `I know you are smuggling something. It`s driving me crazy. It`s all I think about...I can`t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?`
The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, `Bikes’
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don`t know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don`t know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don`t know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji`s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What`s the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn`t say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer amp; searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what`s the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
One day two friends are bragging.
1st friend: My father has great eyes site like eagle, he is very
clever as fox, very brave like the Lion...
2nd friend: This means that I need to buy a ticket to the
Zoo to meet your Father??
Girl:Darling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???
Boy:Darling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....
Girl:(Nakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????
Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk Replies "That is a thermos." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk response, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says, "I `ll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object you have?" HE said, "It’s a thermos." The boss then asked, "What does it do?" He replies, "it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." In amusement the boss said, "Wow! what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke!"
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)
Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before!
As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach.
He picked the roach and put it in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg.
He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach could not!
Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : `Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?`
Banta singh : `Yes, I have`
Santa singh : `Well, my father dug it.`
Banta singh : `That`s nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?`
Santa singh : `Yes, I have.`
Banta singh : `Well, my father killed it.`
Pyaaaray Puttar,
Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow because I know you can`t read fast. We don`t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won`t be able to give you the address as the last sardar who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn`t have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I`m not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I haven`t seen them since.
The weather here isn`t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send with all the buttons in the mail, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don`t make the last payment on grandma`s funeral, she will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven`t found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don`t know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.
Your Uncle Jatinder fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as the couldn`t get the gate down.
There isn`t much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mom
P.S. - I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed
You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:
Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind
Gets stabbed in a shoot-out
Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it
Tries to drown a fish in water
Thinks socialism means partying
Trips over a cordless phone
Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept
At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius"
Studies for a blood test and fails
Sells the car for gas money
Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead
Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said "Airport left", he turns around and goes home
Gets locked in a furniture shop and sleeps on the floor
Sardar was travelling to London from Cairo in a four engine plane.
After few hours of flight the captain announced that one of the engines is not working hence the arrival at London may get delayed by 15 minutes.
Sardar was reading a book and did not pay much attention to the announcement.
After few minutes captain announced again another engine have stopped working hence delay will be around half an hour. Sardar kept on reading the book.
After some time the captain announced the third engine is also not working hence the delay may increase to an hour or so.
This time Sardar called an air hostess and told her, `ask the captain to keep watch over the fourth engine; otherwise we may have to stay in the sky all night long!`
Two Sardarji walked toward each other on a country road.
One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," first Sardarji drawled, "what`s in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
The Sardarji replied "OK, Five
Sardar ji goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."
The doc says, "Ok, touch your elbow."
Sardar ji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doc, surprised, says, "Touch your head."
Sardar ji touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere Sardar ji touches it hurts like hell.
The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc... and tells Sardar ji to come back after two days.
Two days later Sardar ji comes back and the doctor says, "We`ve found your problem..."
"Oh yeah? What is it?"
`You`ve broken your finger!`
Read this biography of a sardar
When God passed out looks, I thought He said books, and I didn`t want any. When God passed out ears, I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones. When God passed out legs, I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones. When God passed out noses, I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one. When God passed out heads, I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one. When God passed out brains, I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.
A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour`s wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!" He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success. Then he realised he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again.
After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn`t started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the window, a voice called out "Hey, Balbir!" Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.
He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke. Finally he had his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin. As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once more. Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name isn`t Balbir!"
Two Sardarji were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked, “Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test".
Second one asked, “So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.
The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my drug test."
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he`s in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes!
After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to `sardars` in his joke with `Biharis`. He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"
Once all the Sardars get disgusted about the large number of jokes that are cracked about them and so they come together in an auditorium to prove to the world that aren`t that silly after all.
They call upon one sardar and ask him, "What is 10 plus 10?" After thinking for some time sardarji replies, "25!"
The officials to whom they want to prove get disgusted but thousands of sardars in the auditorium start shouting, "Give him another chance!"
So the officials ask him again, "What is 5 plus 5?" The sardar replies after thinking for awhile, "30!"
Again there`s shouting from the audience, "Give him another chance!"
Another question is posed, "What is 2 plus 2?" The sardarji replies after much thought, "4!" Again there is the voice of a thousand shouts, "Give him another chance!
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."
POETRY
I Shouldve Known
The
fact that it doesn't faze you at all,is what kills me inside,
the fact that i bent over backward and just sat and swallowed my pride.
having your back all the way i proved that way to true,
its honestly a shame I'm having trouble saying the same for you.
after everything i gotta say it hurts way to much to be true, but i
guess i got to face the facts and thank you for everything i have to go
through.
to be a best friend it does take two,
not just you sit there why i defend the sh*t out of you.
i felt like i was digging my whole deeper just to fill yours up,
but by the time i realized it was all on me you weren't even there to
help me getup.
i knew you weren't the best but i thought it was the best you knew, i
guess u didn't grow as much as we thought you grew.
let me say i do thank you for what you have done for me, but nothing can
take back the pain and punishment you made me clearly
see.
Waves
I sit here listening to the
waves as they crash to shore, wondering of you. I watch as the sun sinks
low and wonder are you watching the sunset. I long for you to be beside
me, embracing me. I want to be able to look into your eyes and see the
soul I've come to know. I've heard your voice, but I long to see the
expressions as you speak. I sit here trying to find you and hearing only
the waves as they crash to shore.
She Doesn't Know
She
makes me smile
And she doesn't even know
She keeps me away from the vial
And she doesn't even know
I've just met her, but I know for sure
We'll be friends for as long as possible
And I will always love her
Forever and ever, until death is our separation
She looks out for me
And makes sure I'm okay
I can tell she adores me
With or without her having to say
She doesn't say much, to get me to laugh
And everything she says makes me happy
But she doesn't realize that if I lost her, I'd be stuck in a trap
Where there is no oxygen, no life, no me
I want the best for my new friend
Because that's all she deserves
And I'll tell her over and over again
Until all the pain she feels disappears.
Say Good bye
I tell her she
needs to gain
but she believes it will cause her more pain
when she does try to fix it
it causes her to get sick
i thought my life was hard
but hers is unbearable her
moms a w**** her dads a d***
her sister takes pills
and her brothers a prick
all she ever hears is her parents fight
and her siblings telling her
to get out she needs to sleep
somewhere else for the night
shes had her share of boyfriends
and cuts across her wrists
shes smoked a lot of cigarettes
and drank a lot of beers
she doesn't eat right and sometimes not at all
she skips class and
plays around in the hall
you look at her and sees skin and bones
she looks at herself and sees fat and problems
its only an amount of time until that one last tare
or that day she'll leave this world
so say goodbye to that once
so happy once so Innocent girl.
Friends
We always will be friends
And will be until the end
No matter what one needs
We will follow when one leads
If one needs a shoulder to cry on
For us to be there it wonât take long
We need each other no matter what
Even when we need a kick in the butt
Some things may change in our lives
We love each and that we should not deny
And if ever we fall
Each other is who we can call
We cant let me memories fade
They are ours, its what we made
If support is what needs to be given
We will give it no matter what we are livin
We are friends until the End
Many things we will have to mend
But that will make us stronger
And we will stay friends longer.
And with this album I give to you
Will hopefully help and guide us through
Look through it when times are tough
Or even when things are getting rough.
Best Friends Always
Butterfly kisses
silly wishes
bad lies
and hott guys
We're the best of friends
i hope you see
your the 1
who holds the key
Sisters we may not be
But we're so close every1 can see
we've been home girls for the past 2 years
With lots of memories,fights and plenty of tears
I'll love ya always girl
i hope you know that
cuz when we graduate
we'll both be up to bat
So for many more to come
Love always girl now how about some gum.
We Are Complete
Don't you
see these broken tears
Smeared upon my face?
The ones I've fought for many years
Waiting for God's grace
I lose hope
And you give it back
This is my way to cope
Because strength is what I lack
So you have shown the way
A light unto my heart
No longer will I pay
Like I have from the start
You have set me free
I am no longer in this spell
I can be me
And be free from this hell
You have made me feel
Emotions I never thought where there
Is this friendship real?
Cause I can tell you really care
I cant believe my eyes
And the words you have said
You can see through all the cries
And how I wished to be dead
You help me to live on
And see the best of life
When I thought I was almost gone
You made me try with all strife
So now I am here today
Because you really cared
And all I have to say
Is that that bond is shared
For I love you
Just as much
I'll help you get through
Even if its just a touch
No matter what
I'm by your side
Come out from the shadows
You no longer have to hide
So grab my hand
And hold on tight
Together we stand
As one we unite.
She Doesn't Know
She
makes me smile
And she doesn't even know
She keeps me away from the vial
And she doesn't even know
I've just met her, but I know for sure
We'll be friends for as long as possible
And I will always love her
Forever and ever, until death is our separation
She looks out for me
And makes sure I'm okay
I can tell she adores me
With or without her having to say
She doesn't say much, to get me to laugh
And everything she says makes me happy
But she doesn't realize that if I lost her, I'd be stuck in a trap
Where there is no oxygen, no life, no me
I want the best for my new friend
Because that's all she deserves
And I'll tell her over and over again
Until all the pain she feels disappears.
Won't Do...
We've known each other for years.
We've shed our tears.
I've known for a long time.
And you are a good friend of mine.
I've got your back.
But then you went off track.
All of a sudden I wasn't good enough.
And that timeframe is rough.
Now your not there.
It's not that I don't care.
Because I do.
After everything that we went through.
Everything changed but you.
I won't blame you.
That's something I won't do.
You have your life and I have mine.
It's just that all this time.
I thought you were a friend of mine.
You were the closest friend that I ever had.
Now I look back at the memories and it makes me kind of sad.
That you had to go that way.
And now there's nothing left to say.
Silence is the wall between us.
And for me that isn't enough.
I want to talk to you.
But following you, is something that I won't do.
I won't listen to a word you say.
And for that you push me away.
My only friend since childhood.
You were there when things weren't all that good.
The shoulder to cry on.
The only person that was there when everyone was gone.
And after everything was said and done.
You were the only one that knew where I came from.
From ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
You were the only friend that I could trust.
You made me change my life around.
And now you look at me without making a sound.
I look at you and see you staring.
I turn around and all of a sudden your glaring.
All of a sudden you were so much better then me.
And my guilt was something that I was supposed to see.
After everything that we've been through.
You want me to blame you.
Well that's something that I won't do...
Special Thanks To My Mother
Thank you
for not judging me when I failed
and having the patience to deal with me
Thank you
for making me smile
when all I felt like was crying
Thank you
for having the courage to believe in me
when no one else had the courage to
Thank you
for all the fun and happy memories we shared
I treasure them and will never forget
Thank you
for teaching me to appreciate the little things
like giving someone a hug and holding a hand
Thank you
for teaching me to say I'm sorry
and helping me admit when I'm wrong
Thank you
for teaching me to stand up for myself,
for what I believe in even when its hard to.
Thank you
for showing me how to forgive
and how much it hurts to hold a grudge
Thank you
for helping me believe in things unseen
Now I know the sky is not the limit
and my dreams are within my reach
Thank you
for showing me what best friends are for
to love, to hug, to reassure
Thank you
for giving me your love
in spite of everything I put you through
Thank you
for setting a good example for me
Following in your footsteps, I've learned so much
I love you Mom and I could never thank you enough.
Always Be There
Went to
school like a normal day
same old stuff nothing new to say
i walked in math class
i said hey to you and you walked past
i was upset to your reaction
then the teacher started talking about ratios and fractions
i glanced over at you and u pulled up your sleeve..from what i could see
i wanted to leave
you had cuts all up your arm
to me it was like an alarm
after class i asked you why u did that
you just said "Matt"
i was pretty upset you did that over a guy
that made me wanna break down and cry
i walked away from you with tears in my eyes
i thought "I'm sick of guys,I'm sick of trying, I'm sick of lies now I'm
crying"
you laughed about it like a joke
on your clothes i smelt smoke
i asked your friends why u did that
they all told me "Matt"
later that night i called her phone
i was hoping she was alone
i told her not to do it again
she said she wont she was happy with Ben
next day she wasn't in school so i called her and her dad said
.................she was dead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
not true but i wrote it because it almost happened.
Never Regret
I look at what
we have
The friendship that we share
And i am forever grateful
That you are always there
Whenever my heart stops beating
You help me to breathe again
Whenever i am hurting
You somehow stop the pain
I cant find the words to tell you
How much you mean to me
We'll be best friends forever
Till the end of eternity.
The Dog Who Didn't Blink
There's a dog who didn't blink
Living on my street
He's a very friendly dog
I think you two should meet
He's not very old
Just a couple of years
And in his wide eyes
I never see tears
Everyday i wonder
"How can that dog see?"
And then i start to notice
He keeps looking at me
In those buggy eyes
That never ever close
I can see into his heart
His inner sadness shows
There was a dog who didn't blink
He lived on my street
He was a very friendly dog
I'm sorry you two couldn't meet.
Playing Outside
I was playing
outside in the cold
When I saw something shining like gold
I went to see what it could be
It looked liked someone had took a pee
I was disgusted and grossed out
That is when I heard little Johnny shout
I looked at him with my evil eyes
And he said how did you like that little surprise
I decided to fight fire with fire
That is when I broke out my inner liar
I told little Johnny there was a piece of gold on the back of the pole
And you have to lick the pole to see the gold
Little Johnny did as he was told
And went to lick the silver pole
Mommy Mommy come and help
I told little Johnny no one can hear your yelp
He said you stupid little girl
And your stupid little curls
I replied to him nice and bold
And said " At least my tongue isn't stuck to a pole".
What We All Wish People Would Do!*
Please just comment
tell us what u think
it takes just a second
don't be such a freak
just write a little saying
about what u read
if it was good
or if it was bad
or funny or sad!
Quotations
From :
Farah Asif <farah_asif2004@hotmail.com>
Sent :
Saturday, November 25, 2006 9:22 PM
To :
rabiaijaz1@hotmail.com
Subject :
Quotations!
|
|
|
Inbox
Dear Rabia,
Here they are:
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.
How to look better in one step: smile
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notion unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.
The secret to humour is surprise.
Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise
It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact
The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another
We find greatest joy, not in getting, but in expressing what we are. Men do not really live for honors or for pay; their gladness is not the taking and holding, but in doing, the striving, the building, the living. It is a higher joy to teach than to be taught. It is good to get justice, but better to do it; fun to have things but more to make them. The happy man is he who lives the life of love, not for the honors it may bring, but for the life itself.
Life is 10% what you make it, and 90% how you take it.
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back
You can never conceal love where it exists, nor simulate it where it does not.
One can’t truly love someone if one doesn’t love himself
Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart
Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it
Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.
A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy.
Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you.
It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
The best minute you spend is the one you invest in people.
A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely
Farah Asif
Sardar Jokes
Two sardars sending sms to their girl friends
Sardar1: main tere mobile sy apni girlfriend ko sms bhejun… dekhty hain kya kahti hy?
Sardar2: na na! agar usne handwriting pahchan li tu?
One day sardar ji had a dream that sum one killed him
Next day he closed his bank account…
Why??
Because in bank it was written “we make your dreamz cum ture!”
One day u’ll ask me..wuts more important to u me or ur life???
I’ll say “my life” and u’ll go and leave without even knowing that u r my life!!!
Apka humara rishta tu Aankhunaur palkun jesa hy agar palak kuchh dair na jhapky tu ankh ru parti hy aur agar ankh main kuchh par jay tu palak tarap uthi hy
4 roses for u
----;<@
----;<@
----;<@
----;<@
1st 4 friendship
2nd bcoz I care
3rd is u r special
and 4th one
apny kaan par laga lu “must” lagu gi
I can not hide it this from u any more
I don’t want to hurt you
And I feel its betterif I tell you before you hear it from someone else
That
Lifebuoy is now Rs.9…
khamush palkun sy jub ansu bikahr jaty hain
app kya jany app kitna yaad aaty hain
abhi b usi mur par khary hain
jahan ap ne kaha tha k hum abhi aty hain
palkun k kinary ju hum ny bhighoy nahi
who sochty hain k hum roy nahi
who pochty hain khwabun main kissy dekhty hu
aur hum hain k ik umar sy soy nahi
wo kesa shakhs hy k har ruz saza deta hy
phir hunsata hy wo itna k bhula deta hy
kabhi ju ru dy tu mujh ko b bhul jaat hy
aur phir bhul k mjh ko b bhula deta hy
us sy pochhun k bta kiss sy muhabat hy tumhain
naam sargushi main mera hi sunna deta hy
khud hi kahta hy k na duhrao purani yaadain
main na duhraon tu phir khud hi sunna deta hy
khud hi likhta hy k jazbaat main halchul na kro
aur phir khudi naai aag laga deta hy
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